Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
