Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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