Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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