this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.