yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?