and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
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oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..