EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit