even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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