Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize