If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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