NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
