is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
