hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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