we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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