Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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