Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
