there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You can't motorboat a personality
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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