i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Remember the time you cried about coconuts