Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween