I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules