do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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