You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
