You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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