look no pants
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
