very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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