So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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