so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
