It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When are your genitals available?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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