I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
