I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
