ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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