I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
