I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
