matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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