I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
