it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
