I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
