I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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