Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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