i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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