turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
