I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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