my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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