girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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