we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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