Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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