Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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