I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
