I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
