i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
