the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
