My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
