she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
