maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
