1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
