Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
