That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
