i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
