Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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