i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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