I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
