You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
