I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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